


365 Days Of You

by cefmoon



Series: Lonely Souls [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Bickering, Domestic Boyfriends, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Hatake Kakashi Is A Brat, Hatake Kakashi-centric, Idiots in Love, Kakairu Acting Like a Married Couple, M/M, New Years, Not Beta Read, Umino Iruka Is No Saint Either, author thinks posting a new years fic almost 3 months into the year is okay, the sequel literally no one asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29687232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cefmoon/pseuds/cefmoon
Summary: "I prayed for the Gods to keep you safe," he confesses, chocolate eyes glossy and vulnerable, "so that you can keep coming back… to me."The words hit Kakashi's heart like a perfectly aimed kunai. They echo inside his head and twist the blade deep in his chest. It doesn't feel like dying, though, not really, it's actually much, much nicer than that.He looks at Iruka, at his sincere eyes, at his scarred nose, at his blushing cheeks. He looks at his soft mouth, at his sharp jawline, at his whole pretty face. The brunet has always been so handsome, so cute in his own Iruka type of way, but right now, with the raw, honest expression reflecting on his attractive features, Kakashi can swear he has never seen anything more beautiful in his life."You know, speaking of traditions," the jounin prompts, his voice is hoarse, clearly affected. "There are villages where people kiss for the New Year."Iruka huffs with a playful roll of his eyes, but his mouth pulls upwards with a smile. "This is the Mistletoe incident all over again, isn't it?"
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Umino Iruka, Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Series: Lonely Souls [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2181651
Comments: 11
Kudos: 62





	365 Days Of You

Kakashi's used to the mask. After all, he's been wearing it for decades now, the feeling of cloth over his nose so familiar it almost feels strange whenever he pulls it down. 

Right now though, he wishes he could set it on fire and watch it burn. 

The fabric feels heavy, sticking to his face with sweat and mud and _hopefully_ not his blood, the smell of smoke and battle clinging to it and numbing his sharp sense of smell. It's humid too, because it's been raining non-stop since they passed the border to the Fire Country; Kakashi tries his best to ignore the way that the damp cloth rubs on the sensitive skin of his cheeks, probably irritating it by the way it's starting to itch.

It was a rough mission, his team ambushed halfway to the Land of Iron by missing-nin, probably after some bingo book remuneration; the cold temperatures tended to push them into reckless attacks, the desperation for some money for shelter and warm food obvious in their eyes.  
They hadn't been particularly hard to fight off, but their movements had certainly been nasty; Genma is favoring his left leg and clutching his side, a very long gash runs down Raidou's bicep and there's blood matted in his hair. Kakashi himself had gotten stabbed on the thigh, not too deep, and far enough from the artery to be worrying, though, so he's kind of relieved about that, but he had been forced to use the Sharingan too, so his chakra levels are low, stumbling–over–his–own–feet and head-spinning–like–his–brain–is–in–a–washing–machine, kind of low. 

"Well, you know what they say," Gemma's dry tone breaks the silence while they rushedly tend their wounds inside a nearby cave, "nothing like starting a new year with a few broken ribs, right?"

Raidou's snort echoes around the stone walls and Kakashi doesn't even try to suppress the wry smile that curves his lips under the damned mask, even when his mind is so dizzy that the words register in his brain three minutes too late.

Eventually, they do make it back to Konoha, swaying like drunks and with clothes that had definitely seen better days. Granted, Kakashi can't remember any of this, the walking through the gate or the being ~~dragged~~ coerced to the hospital by Kotetsu—who had been on guard duty that morning.  
All he knows is that the mission was completed, Genma lost their rock–paper–scissors competition so he has to write the report, and Sakura still needs to make a little adjustment to her healing chakra because _fuck, that hurts worse than the actual stabbing_.

Oh, and Tsunade doesn't like it when he tells his ex–student this.

"I didn't think you'd be such a wimp, brat," she mocks him, her lip twisting upwards in distaste, "suck it up, or do you want a lollipop, too?"

Sakura, even through her embarrassed blush, tries not to laugh, and to Kakashi, that feels a little bit like betrayal.

"A lollipop would be great, actually," he hears himself mumble with literally half a mind. 

And that's the last thing he can recall from that day, either because Tsunade actually decks him over the head and knocks him right out, or the exhaustion finally catches up with him; it doesn't really matter, Kakashi's sure it'll all remain a mystery, and honestly, for his pride and the last remaining bits of his sanity, he's okay with that.

The next time he wakes up, eyes bleary and filled with sand that isn't really there, Iruka is already sitting by the bed. Because of course he's there, it's like the brunet has an alarm inside his brain that starts ringing whenever Kakashi sets foot inside the hospital. Or maybe he's making nice with the nurses again, just to get them to let him know whenever this happens. Probably both.

"Welcome back," is all he says, without even looking up from the pile of papers balancing precariously next to Kakashi's knee on the bed.

"Thanks," Kakashi manages to get out, his voice a little too rough from lack of use and hydration. He clears his throat. "How long have you been here?"

The little camp set-up isn't an unusual sight; Iruka is scarily good at multitasking, especially when he's nervous, and evidence of it can be seen around the room.  
Marked papers, pens, a couple of books, two empty Ichiraku's containers, and probably–too–many–to–be–good–for–a–human–being coffee cups lay messily on the little nightstand and the floor next to the hospital bed. Iruka must be playing it real nice with the staff, Kakashi can only assume, because there's no way they'd let anyone else make a mess like this. There's nothing like the chunin's charming smile and bashful blush, the jounin knows too damn well, not even Tsunade can resist, no matter how hard she likes to pretend otherwise.

Kakashi can't tell if Iruka is pissed or not, his hair is all ruffled and spilling out of his ponytail, like he's slept on it, and the shorter parts of the front obscure his eyes, keeping them out of sight with his attention glued to the papers on the mattress. His shoulders are relaxed, and he doesn't seem to be clenching his jaw, but knowing the chunin for so long has given Kakashi the many opportunities to learn that, sometimes, although very rare, Iruka gets angry and becomes silent, cold and out of reach, until the dam breaks and he snaps, turning back into his usual short–tempered self.

"Two days, I think," he replies, offhandedly. He won't look up.

Kakashi sucks in a breath, loud enough for dramatic effect, but still, there's no use. Iruka knows him too well, too. The jounin cringes. "The mask smells like ass." 

With shaking fingers, because apart from the overall aching pain in his body and the slight dizziness in his head, Kakashi kind of forgot that he's actually very chakra depleted, and has just woken up from a mini two–day coma, he pulls the fabric down his chin, cold and sterile air hitting his face. 

His eye tears up a little, his sharp nose overwhelmed momentarily by the strong smell of chemicals and disinfectant, and when he successfully blinks the salt away and regains his vision, Iruka's hand is in front of his nose, blindly holding a tissue.

He takes it, making sure their fingers brush. "Thanks."

Iruka whips his hand back and pats around his pockets for a few seconds before managing to fish out a surgical mask from inside his vest. He offers that too. "You can't keep taking the mask off to get my attention," he says, still without looking up, "I didn't take you for a one–trick dog, Hatake-san."

The magic of showing his face around Iruka to fluster him had only truly worked once, Christmas last year, but by now, the chunin has grown mostly used to the sight of the pale expanse of skin that makes Kakashi's rather plain face. The jounin has caught him staring a couple of times, alone in one of their apartments during dinner, but not even getting caught red-handed makes Iruka furiously blush anymore. 

Hooking the elastics behind each ear, Kakashi grumbles. It had been worth the try. "That's not how the saying goes, Umino-san."

"Yeah, but you're more like a dog. I adapted."

At times like this, Kakashi regrets telling him about his mother's heritage and being part Inuzuka. The canine-related jokes and snide comments won't be getting old any time soon, apparently.

"Maa this is what the terrifying ordeal of being known feels like, then."

"You're ridiculous," Iruka huffs, and Kakashi can safely bet that he's getting an eye roll.

The silence that stretches right then is like all the silences between them, comfortable and relaxing, but Kakashi hasn't seen Iruka in too long, and he won't even look at him right now.  
Maybe Tsunade is right and, after all, Kakashi _is_ a brat, because right now, the thirst for the chunin's attention is so strong he's growing restless.

"What are you even doing? It's New Year's, there's no school."

"New Year's was yesterday," Iruka deadpans, but Kakashi easily ignores the irritation in his voice because he has finally looked up and victory is _sweet_. "It's the end of the semester, I have a bunch of exams to grade."

At least he doesn't look mad, just his normal I'm–mildly–annoyed–at–you face. There are dark bags under his eyes that speak of poor sleeping habits, but those are pretty usual around this time of year, and apart from that, he looks healthy. He looks _good_.

"Really? Because back when I was in the Academy—" 

"Okay, jii-san, that was a million years ago, I get it," he interrupts, making Kakashi pout childishly. "I'm going to call a doctor, now that you're back to the world. Tsunade–sama said if you woke up and got properly checked and cleared, she'd send you home."

Iruka stands up, mindful of the papers around him and stretches his back like a cat after a long nap. Kakashi shamelessly eyes the way his crumpled shirt gets pulled up under his flak jacket with the movement, revealing a strip of golden-brown skin, a thin and probably old white scar shining there, under the... afternoon? _Shit, it's the afternoon_ , sun.  
The chunin's bones pop a few times, loud enough to make them both wince, but he sighs in relief afterward, momentary bliss melting his features into a quiet and pleased expression.

It settles then, with the brunet's tired eyes and messy hair, that he's really been here, by Kakashi's side, all this time, silently guarding over him. Sleeping on that terrible chair, worrying over his well-being and distracting himself with whatever he could find. During New Year's.

Something warm and alive swells inside Kakashi's chest, so big it almost chokes his throat, but in a non–threatening manner. More like, in a beautiful, still kind of scary, oh–shit–I–have–feelings, Iruka–kiss–me–to–death–please, type of way.

With his heart speeding up behind his ribs, Kakashi watches him go and can't help the smile from his lips when he sees how Iruka seems to hesitate at the door, as if unwilling to leave the jounin alone. 

"Iruka," Kakashi calls, making the brunet turn around, looking adorably lost. "I—"

The words get stuck in his throat. 

Kakashi isn't even sure _what_ he wants to say, just that he wants to say _something_ to let Iruka know. But… know what? How he feels? That there's a twisting feeling inside his chest whenever they're together? That he wants to keep doing whatever it is that they're doing? That he wants to kiss his lips and do unspeakable yet very sappy things to him?

"What?" Iruka asks, taking a step back inside, concern starting to cloud over his features.

"I—… thank you, for staying here with me." It doesn't convey it, not really.

Kakashi wishes he could do better, but words have never been his strong suit, especially when it comes to his own, buried feelings. 

It's the right thing to say, though, because Iruka indeed knows him too well, and the smile he gives in return, even when Kakashi sees it without using the Sharingan, is a sight he will never forget. And it's all for him. This happy, smiling, beautiful guy, is all for him.

* * *

"You're looking much better, Kakashi–sensei!" 

Sakura strides inside the room with a blinding smile. Without Tsunade there with her powerful and intimidating presence, Sakura looks like someone Kakashi's never met before. The scared, insecure, little girl that used to blend in the background, the one Kakashi had trained, is nowhere to be seen. Even when it's obvious that she still has a long way to go, he can already tell that she, just like her mentor, is going to be a force to be reckoned with. 

The pride in his chest is undeserved, Kakashi knows, he should've done more for all three of them, but especially for her. Team Seven's members had been unbalanced from the start, and Sakura had been the one that had gotten the short end of the stick: overpowered by her other two teammates and too focused on the wrong things, she had been predestined to get stuck since the beginning.  
So Kakashi's very happy for her. Under Tsunade's wing, Sakura has finally found her place in the world. And sooner rather than later, she will, without a doubt, grow to be the strongest kunoichi in the village. One can easily tell this by the focused and sharp look in her green eyes, the way she carries herself, confident and proud, her hands not even wavering in the slightest, strong and sure of her movements, completely in her element.

Iruka must be thinking the same thing, because even from where he's standing by the doorway, Kakashi can see how his always so expressive eyes shine with overwhelmed pride.  
_Look at her. This is the fruit of your work_ , Kakashi wants to tell him. _You're an amazing teacher_ , too, but Iruka will either punch him or get so flustered he'll pass out, and Kakashi needs one out of the both of them to be okay in case there's some carrying needed.

"Does she let you do rounds by yourself, Sakura–chan?" Kakashi asks, because well, her healing still needs a little tweaking, and he can't help to feel a little weary.

Iruka, who comes to stand beside her, gives him a disbelieving look that says "You're being an asshole without meaning to again" and Kakashi cringes slightly. Obviously he hadn't meant to make her feel bad, he's just kind of shit at being subtle.

Thankfully, Sakura doesn't seem to take it to heart. She just looks at the frown on Iruka's face and giggles a little. "Don't worry, Kakashi–sensei, you don't need any more healing done. We took the opportunity and did it while you were unconscious so you wouldn't, and I quote Tsunade–sama's words, _'be a huge baby about it'_."

Iruka makes a flailing sound, choking on one of his ugly snorts, and Kakashi rolls his eye. "Great."

She grins like she's enjoying it more than she should, and he realizes that he can't even pretend to be annoyed at her. She just looks so happy, so content with what she's doing, the feeling is contagious.

"Can I take him home, then?" Iruka asks, blushing a little and looking strictly at her. 

His words make something flutter inside Kakashi's chest. 

Sakura doesn't miss any of this, always the observant type, judging by the pink tint spreading in her cheeks, but in order to stay professional, Kakashi can tell she's containing herself from saying anything about it. "I'll have to check his chakra levels and if the wound in his leg has healed properly first."

And that's what she does, diligently silent, Sakura runs the tests quickly, going through the motions mechanically, like she's been doing this even in her sleep. The pink–haired girl doesn't even blush when she asks her old teacher to pull his pants down to check on the bandages wrapping around his thigh, where he had been stabbed. Iruka looks like he's gonna start floating, giddy with pride.

"Well, everything seems to be in order," she nods, writing down on the clipboard hanging from the end of the hospital bed, "your chakra levels are still on the lower side, so you'll have to take the next three days easy. If you get any nausea or sensations of vertigo, please come back immediately. We're trying a new medication and it's been presenting those types of side effects on some of the patients."

Kakashi and Iruka nod, like students listening to a lecture. She's good at making people pay attention to her, it's almost funny.

"Please steer away from soldier pills for now and stay in bed rest at least until tomorrow, no strain or fighting. Iruka–sensei, will you be keeping an eye on him?"

Iruka sighs dramatically, his whole body following the gesture, but he's biting back a smile when he says, "Yeah, I'll take care of him."

She remains professional, but her eyes twinkle knowingly. "Great, I know how stubborn Kakashi–sensei can be, so make sure he follows these indications," she grins, and Iruka nods, wearing a smile of his own. "Tsunade–sama wishes to be here to discharge you herself, but she's in the operating room right now performing surgery. She told me to pass on a message, though…

"I'll hold back on the adjectives," she blushes a little but her expression turns serious in a second, "but basically, when Kotetsu–san brought you to the hospital, we thought the damage to your chakra system would be irreparable. You were so chakra depleted it was hard to believe that you could be even conscious enough to speak."

The breath Iruka sucks in is so loud in the quiet room that Kakashi's stomach sinks. Chakra depletion is basically an old friend by now, he's so used to it he often forgets that it can have consequences. The Sharingan is a big cause for why he's always so drained, but he hadn't actually thought that it had been this bad. 

The mood changes up in a second, a tension heavily weighing the three of them down. 

"You need to start taking better care of yourself during missions, chakra depletion is no joke, Kakashi–sensei. If you don't start keeping yourself in check..." 

She doesn't say it, but the " _You'll run yourself to the ground_ " is heavily implied. 

Kakashi nods, because what else can he do? He can't make any promises. In the heat of battle, he'll do anything in his power to protect his village, there's simply no other option. He seeks for Iruka's eyes, in an attempt to reassure him too, but the chunin won't look up at him, again out of reach, his gaze firmly glued to the tiled floor. His ears are red.

"Thank you, Sakura–chan. I'll make sure he takes care of himself." Iruka bows and Sakura blushes furiously at the gesture.

"Ahh… it's okay, Iruka–sensei," she laughs, flustered. "I'll just leave you to it then."

She turns to leave, shoulders squared and hands rigidly by her sides. But then she stops in her tracks and turns around quickly. 

"Oh, I almost forgot!" She chuckles, digging into the pockets of her lab coat and pulling something out, "Tsunade–sama said to give you this."

Kakashi takes the lollipop with disbelief. Iruka chokes. Sakura all but beams.

" _'Big boys deserve a reward'_ , it's what she said to tell you."

Iruka is visibly shaking, trying to hold his laughter in. Sakura grins, covering her mouth, ogling the probably stupefied expression in Kakashi's face, before turning back around and leaving for good.

As soon as the door closes behind her, Iruka is on him like a blood–sniffing shark. 

" _I know you probably won't believe this, but I actually don't have a death wish, Iruka._ " He mocks, whacking him on the arm. Hard. "You heard what she said! You need to start controlling yourself!"

"Maa, don't kick a man while he's down, Iruka-kun," Kakashi mutters, rubbing his arm with a wince. 

"Don't _Iruka-kun_ me, idiot!" Iruka snaps, face red, and Kakashi can't help but smile. _There he is_. "What are you smiling about?! I'm being serious right now! Kotetsu having to physically drag you here! Really?! Are you—"

Kakashi grabs his flailing hands, rightfully cutting him off before he combusts. Iruka frowns, but doesn't struggle to get free, simply freezes. The jounin grabs both of his wrists with one hand and uses the other one to pull the surgical mask down.

"Are you mad? Something tells me you're mad right now." Kakashi pouts.

Iruka stares at him for the longest time, all nine stages of grief going through his face before he shakes his head in disbelief. "You're impossible," he says, pursing his lips, but there's no heat behind his words.

Kakashi gives him his best shit-eating grin before letting go in order to peel the plastic off the cherry lollipop Sakura gave him. "I know," he gloats, popping the sweet inside his mouth.

"Don't look too smug, jounin-san. I had to cancel all my New Year's plans," Iruka smiles, almost maniacally and his fingers wrap themselves around the stick of the lollipop, "so, as soon as you're out of bed rest you'll be helping me clean my entire apartment."

He pulls lightly on it, until Kakashi pries his lips open, not even listening to his words. How can he focus on anything other than Iruka stepping close, too close, standing right there between Kakashi's parted knees, his body heat radiating off of him like a human furnace? The jounin's insides stir hotly, heat pooling at the bottom of his spine as the chunin takes the sweet out of his mouth and pops it inside his own.

_Who cares about what Sakura said? It doesn't even matter. This guy is gonna be the death of me._

"Okay," Kakashi hears himself mumble faintly, eye glued to the mouthwatering sight that is Iruka's lips, glossy and wrapped around the lollipop.

"Okay?" Iruka asks, or well, purrs.

Kakashi nods, audibly swallowing around the galloping beat of his heart. 

"Yeah."

Iruka blushes, but he beams at him anyway. "Great!" He grins, "let's get you home."

* * *

Four days and a deep cleaned apartment later, Kakashi finds himself back in his own home, digging inside his boring closet, searching as if on a very important mission.  
The blue kimono still fits, and the Hatake clan's symbol on the haori almost feels like it weighs on his back heavily, but he sucks it up and adjusts the obi around his middle. Kakashi can't remember when he had worn formal attire for the last time, probably a few years ago, for that one wedding Sandaime had forced him to attend.

With a deep sigh, he pulls the mask over his nose and replaces his hitai-ate for an eyepatch instead. He doesn't allow himself to regret the decision, he _can_ be a boy and wear uncomfortable clothes for a few hours, especially if it's for a certain chunin.

And it's worth it, in the end, because the sight of Iruka wearing a forest green kimono, with his hair down, a cute blush dusting over his cheeks and the scarred bridge of his nose, is something Kakashi will treasure for a long, long time.

"We really don't have to do this," he says, pulling a strand of chocolate hair behind his ear.

"Maa, but we do. Starting the year in the hospital is probably bad luck, isn't it?"

Iruka considers this and then shrugs. "You're probably right."

"Besides, you missed all New Year's celebrations for me, so we'll just do it all now."

"I uh… wanted to be there... with you." Iruka stutters, but his eyes are firm on his statement.

Kakashi's heart skips a beat. His brain immediately going into panic, trying to find something to say to that.

"Are you blushing?" The brunet coos, as if Kakashi is one of his students.

"Maa, must be the light or something." Kakashi mutters, touching the heated skin on his face. Iruka cackles. "Stop laughing, I'm gonna ask the Gods to give you two years of bad luck."

"I don't think that's how it works, Kakashi-san."

"We'll see, sensei."

The shrine is beautiful, according to Iruka's enthusiastic appraisals, Kakashi has never been there before, but he can't disagree. It's old, the stone of the steps leading to it have cracked in some parts to give space to roots and plants that are stubborn enough to grow where they've been banished from by mankind. The actual shrine is a small and old secluded building on top of the hill, mostly hidden by the typical tall trees of Konoha. 

Iruka stops before going in, taking his time to really look at it, at the inscriptions carved on the wood of the doors, at the peeling red paint on the walls and the figures made of stone. Kakashi has never been one to admire these types of things, he has never had the time to really stop and appreciate his surroundings, only in battle does he really take his time to analyze where he stands; so he entertains himself with the awe in the chunin's eyes, who looks so pleased to be there it takes Kakashi's breath away.

Iruka confesses he hasn't visited any spiritually-related places in many, many years. His relationship with faith severed with the loss of his parents so long ago. Kakashi, in return, shares his own troubles, about mortality and the injustice of loss in their line of work.

They talk quietly, there's no one around but it's out of respect and that deeply installed fear of being spied on. Iruka guides him step by step on their manners, first by bowing at the entrance, then by purifying himself, an intricate ritual of washing one's right hand first, water on the left, then bringing the ladle back to the right hand, pouring more water on the left and rinsing one's mouth, to finally wash the left hand. Kakashi follows the steps like a stumbling toddler, stealing a few amused giggles from the chunin. At his embarrassed pout, Iruka allows him to drop the coins in the offerings box and ring the bell. 

They both bow and clap their hands twice in unison, before starting to pray. 

There's a sense of peace in doing so, Kakashi guesses that when he hadn't exactly been praying all those times at the Memorial Stone, it's not so different from what he's doing now. Or maybe he isn't doing it right. Whatever.  
He prays for what probably everyone prays for, health and happiness for his loved ones, eternal and peaceful rest for those who've lost their fight. For Naruto's safety, for Sasuke's troubled soul, for Sakura's healing chakra, for Gai to finally stop buying him green spandex suits, for Tenzō to stop leaving poison ivy by his window whenever Kakashi annoys him, and lastly for Iruka to keep being this beautiful, kind man that somehow can stand his ridiculousness.

And maybe it's an illusion, or placebo, or some undocumented side effect of the new medication they used on him, because when they step outside and bow for the last time, Kakashi feels somewhat lighter, his perpetually rushing mind sedated by an unusual feeling of comfortable quietness.

* * *

Kakashi makes toshikoshi soba, and this time he allows Iruka help, even if it's just by letting him keep an eye on the bubbling soup. They move around Kakashi's kitchen with a practiced ease that speaks of many nights of shared dinners and familiarity of movements. Iruka is quiet, almost as if their visit and prayers have rendered him speechless, but it's not awkward. Even though he's not talking, Kakashi catches him humming some type of slow song the jounin can't recognize the melody of.

It's very nice.

They sit next to each other by the kotatsu, elbows brushing, knees definitely touching, and eat their food talking about small things, like the minimum details Kakashi can divulge about his mission, the card Iruka had received from Naruto, and how proud they both are of Sakura's progress. 

"We're doing this wrong," Iruka says, smiling lightly at his half-eaten bowl on the table, "we're supposed to eat this on New Year's Eve."

Kakashi hums. "Yeah, well we're celebrating five days later, I don't think it really matters."

Iruka chews and makes a contemplative sound. "Do you think traditions are important?"

It's a pretty innocuous question, but there's something unreadable in the chunin's eyes, something troubled and distant. Kakashi hates that he can't really answer the way Iruka probably wants him to.

"Why, sensei?" he asks in return, at a loss of words, "did the shrine leave you in a philosophical mood?"

Iruka rolls his eyes and shoots him a knowing look. "Stop doing that, I hate it."

Kakashi sighs, playing dumb. "I'm not doing anything."

But he is. And Iruka knows.

"Yes, you are. Just answer the question."

"I mean, I guess," Kakashi shrugs, vaguely wondering why it's such a big deal, "I've never really been one for those." 

Weapons don't have time or energy for traditions. Kakashi has never been given the option.

Iruka nods, he doesn't look sad or disappointed by Kakashi's answer, but the look in his eyes is disconcerting, as if he's physically there, next to the jounin, but his mind is far away. 

Kakashi won't have any of it. "Maa, sensei, I told you it's rude to overthink in front of your guests," he knocks their shoulders together playfully.

Iruka smiles. "We're at your house. I'm technically _your_ guest."

"You're hardly a guest anymore, though." It's true. Iruka's much, much more.

"I guess that's true." He agrees, blushing a little.

"What did you pray for?" Kakashi asks, after swallowing the last of his food—he's trying to get better at this, but old habits die hard, and eating quickly to avoid people seeing his face is a tough one.

"I think you're not supposed to say it out loud," it sounds more like a question than a protest.

"No, I think that's for wishes," Kakashi muses, a little doubtful himself.

They chuckle at their mutual lack of knowledge. 

"I prayed for lots of things and I feel a little guilty about it," Iruka admits, shrugging self consciously. "I mean, I haven't prayed in so long that it feels wrong to just show up and ask for stuff, you know?"

Kakashi nods. He hadn't felt that way, maybe because his faith wasn't as strong as Iruka's. Or maybe because he's always been inconsiderate like that.

"But I prayed for Naruto, obviously. I worry about him so much and I hope that he's—" he stops himself, voice cracking a little. "I'm not gonna get into it again, you already know. I… also prayed for Sasuke, for Konohamaru, and all of my students. I prayed for Tsunade-sama, so that she finds the closure she needs without alcohol and stupid bets, I prayed for Kotetsu and Izumo, for Ibiki, for Anko's sanity—"

They laugh again, because, yeah, that's a fair one.

"I— uh… I prayed for you, too." 

Kakashi's breath gets stuck in his throat. He had prayed for Iruka, of course, but for some reason, he hadn't thought that Iruka would be doing the same. This is stupid, because Iruka's way more considerate and sweet and nice and—

"You did?" The words rush out of his mouth in the shape of a barely formed whisper, blood rushing to his ears for some reason. 

Iruka nods.

Why is his heart beating so hard? It's not like he hadn't already known that Iruka cares about him. It's a stupid reaction because of his stupid feelings.  
But the twisting in his gut is warm, so Kakashi can't complain that much. Not when it makes him feel like he's two seconds away from combusting.

Iruka's eyes find his own, and the tender way the chunin looks at him feels almost surreal. How can he look at someone like Kakashi like this? Kakashi doesn't deserve tenderness. Hell, he doesn't deserve to be in anyone's prayers. 

But there's no point in thinking this, really, because Iruka already feels the way he feels, and Kakashi, so selfish and inconsiderate as he is, will not go out of his way to make him change his mind. Not when he enjoys it so much, not when he feels the same way back.

"I prayed for the Gods to keep you safe," he confesses, chocolate eyes glossy and vulnerable, "so that you can keep coming back… to me." 

The words hit Kakashi's heart like a perfectly aimed kunai. They echo inside his head and twist the blade deep in his chest. It doesn't feel like dying, though, not really, it's actually much, much nicer than that.  
He looks at Iruka, at his sincere eyes, at his scarred nose, at his blushing cheeks. He looks at his soft mouth, at his sharp jawline, at his whole pretty face. The brunet has always been so handsome, so cute in his own Iruka type of way, but right now, with the raw, honest expression reflecting on his attractive features, Kakashi can swear he has never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

"You know, speaking of traditions," the jounin prompts, his voice is hoarse, clearly affected. "There are villages where people kiss for the New Year." 

Iruka huffs with a playful roll of his eyes, but his mouth pulls upwards with a smile. "This is the Mistletoe incident all over again, isn't it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kakashi shrugs, his laughter growing louder when Iruka pushes him away. 

"You're impossible," he says, but he's laughing too.

He means it, Kakashi knows, but for some reason, he keeps putting up with it. And he _likes_ it, because when midnight eventually rolls around and he stands up to leave, Kakashi, like the great guest he is, walks him to the door, and Iruka hesitates there for a few seconds, standing on the  
doorway.  
Kakashi opens his mouth to say something, to ask if there's something wrong, and before he can actually utter the words, Iruka's leaning in, close, stretching his neck to reach the jounin's face. Kakashi finds himself holding his breath as the mask gets pulled down, past his mouth, down his chin, and then there's a pair of lips on his skin, warm and wet, right over the mole a few centimeters away from his mouth. Iruka kisses him softly, almost reverently, and something erupts inside Kakashi's chest, like a million fireflies being set free, buzzing warmly against the bones of his ribs.

"Happy New Year, Kakashi." Iruka whispers, face red and fingers shaking as he places the mask back up again.

Kakashi grins, and grins, and grins some more. He grins so wide his cheeks hurt. 

It's not what he had meant, but it's enough. It's more than he had expected. It's perfect.

"Happy New Year, Iruka."

**Author's Note:**

> happy new year!! a little late, i know, forgive me, a lot of stuff happened, i won't bore you with the details.  
> i gotta stop promising sequels because when i don't my brain actually wants to write them. anyways, this was supposed to be posted in january, but then again, i suck so yeah, here you go lol. (i read through this once, so if there are any mistakes i'll come back tomorrow to try and fix them, pinky promise)  
> i hate everything i write so feel free let me know what you think!!  
> also i'm using this space to ask for prompts! i wanna keep writing but sometimes my creativity just evaporates, so if you want to read anything about these two and you feel like i could honor your wishes, please don't be shy and let me know! you can send me your prompts (anonymously or not) to my [tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/wlwiruka) and i promise i'll try my best to do your ideas justice! i'm also willing to try new ships as long as they involve iruka because he's the actual love of my life :)
> 
> pspspsps i'm also on discord: cefmoon#6320


End file.
